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| SMS Jokes |
SMS Jokes
1> True love is like a pillowU could HUG it when u r in trouble U could CRY on it when u r in pain U could EMBRACE it when u r happy Want True Love? Spend Rs.50 BUY A PILLOW
2> Dictionary is da only place where death comes before life, success before work, & divorce before marriage. but the Best part is Friend comes before relatives 
3> A true Friend is not like ',",'Rain',",' Which Rained & left away. A true friend is like ~_~AIR_~_~ Symptoms silient but always around u
4> Take Care alot May our friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into diamonds... and may our diamonds be forever... Then we'll sell it OK? Fifty-Fifty
5> Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects
6> Child Donkey: Mum with whom shall I play, every donkey is busy. Mother Donkey: Don't worry son, see here, this donkey will be free after reading this SMS.
7> Husband asks, do you know the meaning of WIFE. It means… Without Information fighting every time! WIFE says No, it means - With Idiot For Ever
8> What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, Panic is when both are pregnant.
9> GALILEO: great mind EINSTEIN: genius mind NEWTON: extraordinary mind BILL GATES brilliant mind ME: master mind YOU: oh! never mind
10> I have a confession to make ever since I met u its been hard for me to 4get u every night I see u in my dreams and find myself shouting GHOST GHOST !!!
11> Some times small things in life hurt a lot..... If u don't agree with me.... Then >>>> Try to sit on a Common Pin !!
12> To live this life i need a heart beat, to have a heart beat i need a heart to have a heart i need hapines and to have hapiness i need u
13> Wrote your name on the sands.....It got washed away,i wrote your name in air....It got blown away,so i write your name in my heart...I got heart attack!!!
14> Your attention please Thanks 4 ur attention. Now carry on ur work..
15> Hey listen...... Two people were asking Me about you, I give them ur address And cell no, They will b visiting u soon, Their names r joy n happiness.
16> Let me draw ur face! Dont MOVE! Nearly finished OK Done! Wanna have a look? .,|!|,. ( o)(o) ( ,)
17> Height of fashion? Dhoti wid zip. Height of secrecy? Blank visiting card. Height of stupidity? Looking thru a keyhole of glass door. Height of honesty? Pregnant woman purchases 1 & a half ticket. Height of de-hydration? A cow giving milk powder. Height of timewasting? U reading the whole msg
18> Friendship is the rainbow between 2 hearts sharing of 7 colors. 1.LOVE 2.SADNESS 3.HAPPINESS 4.TRUST 5.FAITH 6.SECRET 7.CARE Take Care n Have a nice day:-)
19> A 992 i n0279q biquT2 2m2 pni992 .2iHT 9>IiI (use mirror to read) pls dnt erase! its really interesting
20> This iz crime story 5 frndz lived in a room Namely MAD BRAIN FOOL NOBODY SOMEBODY 1day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. At that time BRAIN was in bathroom, MAD called police. MAD:Is it police station? Police:Yes,wht iz the matter? MAD:SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. Police:R u mad? MAD:Yes,i"m MAD. Police:Dnt u've BRAIN. MAD:BRAIN iz in bathroom.. Police:U FOOL... MAD:No,FOOL is reading this sMs
21> It takes 15 trees 2 produce d amount of paper dat we use 2 write in 1 exam.join us in promoting d noble coz of saving treez.....say NO 2 exams:-)
22> I miss "STARS" sTARs think i m serious bUt i m joking! I miss "MOON" m00n thinks i m serious bUt im joking! I miss "U" U think i m joking but i m serious!
23> Medicines and friendship cure our problems. The only difference is that, Friendship don't have an expiry date
24> Today is Donald Duck's birthday .... So wish him by sending this sms to every cartoon you know. Just like I did by sending this sms to you...
25> Roses r red violets r blue. Monkeys like u should kept in a zoo Don't get angry because u will find me there too. Not in a cage but laughing at you
26> Dear customer, U r not using ur SmS service properly.Ur sim will be deactivated soon.To avoid this,urgently reply with a cute SmS to the sender. Sndr's watng?
27> 3 monkeys escaped from zoo! Ist watching T.V. 2nd plays soccer n 3rd is... Not u yaar ! 3rd is eating banana.y u r always think u r a monkey
28> I'd love to take u out 4 dinner, make u sit beside the candle light, shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words in ur ear "PAY THE BILL
29> Once Upon a Time, Something happened to me. It was the sweetest thing that ever could be. It was a fantasy, a dream come true it was the day I met you.
30> Love is like a cloud... love is like a dream... love is 1 word and everything in between... love is a fairytale come true... Coz I found love when I found U.
31> Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born beautiful, but what the hell happened to you?
32> Girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked too, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
33> We will now upgrade your brain, please wait.... Searching.... searching... still searching.... sorry, NO BRAIN found...!
34> Roses r red, violets r blue, Sugar is sweet, and so are u. But the roses r wilting, the violets r dead, The sugar bowl's empty and so is your head!
35> This sms can only be read by someone SMART, try again, again, maybe you are.. just not smart?? one more time. hey don't force it ugly!!!
36> Last night I wanted to send you a msg, But all I could write was, “noh ss!w !”. It didn’t make mush sense Until I read it upside down..
37> I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.
38> Who said English is easy??? Fill in the blanks with YES or NO. 1.______I don’t have Brain.… 2.______I don’t have Sense.… 3.______I am Stupid....
39> A physiological study has proved that all the fools, donkeys, monkeys used their thumbs to read the messages Don’t change your finger know its too late.
40> How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ………………………………… How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*
41> FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forget but how U forgive, Not how U listen but how U Understand, Not what U see but how U feel, and not how U Let Go but how U hold on!!!
42> WIFE : Worries Invited For Ever
43> A Friendship is Sweet when its NEW.. Its Sweeter when its TRUE But Its Sweetest when the friend is like U.
44> Doctor : A person who cures the ills by pills, and kills by his bills.
45> How do you keep an idiot in suspense............?? Tell you later.......
46> Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now... Sorry I am leaving now, I can't find a brain
47> A million words would not bring you back, I know, because I've tried. Neither would a million tears. I know, because I've cried.
48> Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom and without ugliness there can be no beauty. so the world needs YOU after all!
49> Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open
50> If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together
51> Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards
52> ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction
53> Why were males created before females? Because you always need a rough draft before the final copy
54> This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.
55> All day I thought of you.... I was at the zoo. CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this
56> Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
57> Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
58> Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing
59> I heard someone whisper your name, but when I turned around to see who it was, I notice I was alone, then I realize it was my heart telling me that I miss you.
60> My eyes are hurting coz I can't see U, My arms are empty coz I can't hold U, My lips are cold coz I can't kiss U but, My heart is breaking coz I'm not with U!
61> I need you to know our friendship means a lot - If you cry then I cry, if you laugh then I laugh.. if you jump out the window I look down then....I laugh again
62> True friends warm the heart, make you laugh, smile... yes, you are a true friend.
63> A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
64> Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart because hearts can be broken, but circles are never ending.
65> Memories last forever, they simply never die, true friends stay together - they NEVER say good-bye.
66> God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
67> I believe in Angels, the ones that Heaven sends. Each day I tell those Angels, you are my best of friends.
68> Friendships multiply joys and divide grief.
69> Without humor, life sucks Without Love, Life seems hopeless. But without a friend like you, life is nearly impossible.
70> If you need advice, text me... if you need a friend, call me ... if you need me, come to me... if you need money........ SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!
71> It takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?
72> Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering
73> A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
74> What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women
75> What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant
76> News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message
Urdu Jokes In English
1> Kion har bar mosam ki tarah badal jate ho,Har bar hamara dil dukhatay ho, Yeh bat sun ker hamari roh tak kanp gaye,Ae dost tum masjidon se chapal or lote churate ho
2> Bohut udas he her shakhs tere jane se,Ho sake to laut aa kisi bahane se, Tu lakh khafa sahi magar ik bar to dekh,Mohalay me Kitna kachra jama hai tere na any se.
3> Plz sirf 1 bar kehdosirf ek bar..December ki wo yaden mujhe lota do,wo bhegi bhegi ratain,wo haseen lamhaat,jub tum mere bilkul qareb aaker,ankhon me ankhain dalkar,jub tum ne..kaha!Aande lee loo, garam aande
4> Haqiqat samjho ya afsana,Apna samjho ya baigana, Hamara aapka rishta he purana,Is liye farz tha aap ko batana, kay garmiyan aa gayi hain,Ab shuru ker do roz nahana! jao nahao (,?. *,?.)
5> Utho sathio or mulk ka kuch bhala karo.Jaggooo!
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Acha tum ho..
sorry yaar tum to wapas so jao
isi mai hi mulk ka bhala hai
6> Dil se bolun ik bat main sachi.!Hum Tum ik raftaar k panchi.!Dosti ye hamari hogi na kabhi kuchi.!Teri photo se to meri negative hi Achi.!:-)
7> God has given many qualities to you,
Good look, personality, charm, intelligence,
And many more……this is call as
“Allah meherbaan to gadha bhi pehalwan…”
8> Girl:It’s 2 tight
Boy:Don’t worry,I’ll do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I can’t,
Gal:It’s painful,
Boy:Forget it.
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We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!
9> Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.
10> A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
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Books And Study
11> Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”
12> He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me, he bit,
sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left, i was hurt,
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BLOODY… MOSQUITO !!!!
13> I really deeply wish dat
u r here with me in my room.
on my bed & lights is off &
we get under the cover together..
2 show u my glow in the dark watch.
14> 2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”
15> Agar computer windows PUNJABI main hoti tu,
Send=satto
Insert=pao
Download=thalle lao
Delete=mitti pao
Run=Nassu
Search=Labbo
ALT+CTRL+DEL=syapaa hi mukao
16> Asif zardari ne Islmabad men
Nawaz sharif k sath mil ker Coca Cola pi
or Nawaz Sharif ne kaha k
judge kub bahal hongay?
to Zardari ne kaha..
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BRRRRRRRRRRRR.!!!
17> Bush ka “Kutta” bush se roth gaya,
Ja k ganday nalay main doob gaya,
Dobtay howay bola ab aur zulm nahin sahain gay,
Eg ghar mai 2 2 nahin rahain gay…:D
18> 1 Anokhi Dua
Aap ko Khushyan itni milen jitni MUSHARRAF ko Gaaliyaan…
Aapki Zindagi Se Gham aise khatam hoon jese PTV se haya
Aapko GEO jesa sabar miley
Shorat itni mile jini “BB� ko mili
Health aesi mile jese SANGEETA ko…
or
Aap ke din aise phir jaye jese ZARDARI ke
19> Devils went to Court to Prove
that he is The Most,
Cruel & wicked Guy on Earth.
But he Failed, He Came Out Angrily & Asked,
Yaar ye “ALTAF BHAI� kon hai?
20> Aaeen men ek aur tarmeen,
Ab new quomi tarana
Musharraf sir zameen shad baad,
Kishwar-e-Haseen shad baad,
Tou nishan-e-corruption aalishan,
Arz-e-Musharafstan,
Shad bad opposition sari barbad,
Musharaf sir zameen ka nizam,
atay, gas, bijli ka bohran,
Qoum mulk saltant,
choudhry paindabad,
shad baad,
shukat aziz mulk say farar,
parcham-e-sitara-e-hilal,
Khun main runga sara saal,
Bhol apna mazi shan-e-haal,
khudkash bombar phir hai tayar,
Musharaf hokumat ko aye na zawal
21> Tamam bewaqufon
ko ittala di jati hai…
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Aap to aise parh rahe hen
jaise ye ittala aap k liye ho.:p
22> Fact1: You can not touch
your lower lip with your tounge…
Fact2: After reading this,
99/100 idiots would try it.
23> Police:Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police:Kion has rahe ho?
Sardar:Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hon.!
hehehe:d
24> In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it’s legs only?
Sardar:I don’t know.
Examiner:You failed, what’s your name?
Sardar:See my legs & tell my name
25> 1st ever intelligent sardar.
Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?
sardar: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything:-)
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